ingenue, ltd.

2003-09-30T08:50:00.000+08:00

Its one of those days when you wake up, face the mirror to wash up, try to smile, but fail at even attempting to do so. Its one of those freaky days when the sun's shining outside but you feel so drowned out and morose deep, deep down.

I should be happy. But what's happiness, anyway? Hell! Why am I even asking that effingly high-school question!

I should be happy. We just hurdled Professor S's cutting remarks. I hate to admit it, but I felt rightly smug when all he could remark was that we lacked citations. I hate to admit that I wanted to make a cutting retort on it: Who gives footnotes at powerpoint presentations, anyway?!

I should be happy my adviser was happy with our study.

Well, for the meantime, I have to rush and end this beautiful time of the day and go along with the tide of prosaic chores and responsibilities.

2003-09-07T23:17:00.000+08:00

There's this mind boggling thing that happens everytime you have to get something important done: you find ways and excuses to actually do something else. Stuff you have long ago pushed at the back of your mind are suddenly the ones you'd rather do. I don't know why, and neither do the people who agree this happens everytime.

Just this moment, I am supposed to get our formatted thesis program done by tomorrow, and here I am blogging and surfing the net for IE updates, Java updates, and Windows updates. He he he! Sly... Oh well... I am also sooo itching to get all my CDs re-organized at this very moment.

Oh well... at least I'm following my prof's advise to just sit it out in front of the task till I get bored thinking of everything else but my "important" work and actually start doing it.

I'm crossing my fingers it actually helps...

*A wink and a grin* ;)

2003-08-30T01:24:00.000+08:00

Does stupidity rub off on you?

I hope not.

But why the hell do I get myself in this situation everytime!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Damn!!!!!

Now I can't get much needed sleep because... .

*Sob* *Sniff*

Well maybe I am more stupid than I give the stupidity credit for. (It tells me, "You Pam, are a posseur...nothing more.")

And what's tough... is that it might be true... =( (Oh how I hate my structurals prof for this!)

But, promise to myself... I pledge, I give an oath... I'll never be the cause for another woman's woe...

This week has been the most... the craziest rollercoaster ride I have ever had the misfortune to have ridden on.

Well, there's still the weekend... there's still time to...... what... I dunno.... .

2003-08-27T13:24:00.000+08:00

Okay... I admit... I only blog when I'm creeped restless. Y'know, when the mind feels way too much active but the body is far too sluggish to respond. Haven't gone to the gym for a week now, and this might be the result. Nevertheless, I'm here with a gazillion stuff running amuck my brainy without anyone or anything to pour it into or at least a way to organize em.

Forgive the teenybopping speak.. I'm obviously in a teenybopping mode. =P

Sooooo.... I have yet to find out a reason why I'm in this rut. Well, maybe I could wait for the reason, what I couldn't wait for is the cure! Fuckaroons. Gimme a way to get me out of this muck and I'll give ya my best beaming and unsarcastic self. Get me a remedy, fast!

Watched Alias last night. What Vaugh said about his dad's reason for writing a diary was very much the reason I keep one, too. Not only a diary, I also get to keep this blogga up and running from time to time. The reason... its where his dad gets to scream his guts out. Its where he spills everything he knows he can't full well say in real life. In short, an escape valve.

Wooha! Thank God for blogging machines, huh? ;)

****************************

Anyways, my friend in London texted last night. She was complaining about being sad and lonely for reasons she apparently brought upon herself. She just rejected this suitor. She doesn't like him. But, surprisingly, she misses the text messages and the calls after the rejection and the guy stopped bugging her. I couldn't help but groan in my half-asleep state... its actually exactly how I've been feeling these past few years. Its a shame, I guess. Once you have been bitten by the extra-special attention bug... well... there's no more escaping it. The source might have faded into the gloom because you told him to go walk away and get a life (because he doesn't exactly fit your idea of a partner/boyfriend/mate), or he just walked away because he got scared stiff of your real, sometimes nutty, oftentimes neurotic self. Either way, you miss his attentions. You don't exactly miss the attention-giver... but you miss him just the same because he's the source of what you've been craving these past few adolescent years.

My friends and me... we're a bunch of lonely people right now.

Sad.

2003-08-08T23:41:00.000+08:00

HAY.. big sigh..

Great, its Friday. Just buggin me why Fridays make me restless, and anxious, and a tad bit more depressed.

Why?

Anybody got an answer? You get 5 brownie points and a smooch from me.

There's just something about the end of a work (in my case, school) week that "gladdens" my heart, and makes me wanna weep with joy. I almost screamed out loud while praying the rosary with my family this evening. What in tarnation is UP?! Good thing I was able to suppress the urge to scream, and let out a low groan instead. It was noticeable, though. My mom gave me this low questioning look while she was reciting the "Hail Mary."

So, what else is new? Apart from this recurring boredom and bouts of feelings of emptiness (and what the hell is missing in my life) stuff, nothing much has changed. Guess that's the monkey wrench in the machine, huh? There is nothing UP! Same old, same ol'. Same ol' boring, dull, life. Well, sometimes I get a healthy dose of fun from time to time; fun, in my own terrible and shallow definiton of the term. Well, who cares... the care bears certainly don't. he he he...

Why do I feel so... empty? So... stuck? Stuck at what, you'd ask. Heck, I myself dunno. Do you think I'd still be here writing this crap if I knew the answer? Of course not! I'd probably be out there, having a ball. I'd be un-alone, and happy. I'd be un-sad, and saying to myself: life doesn't get any better than this. No, that would be too cliche. I'd probably be gloating. I'd probably be so full of myself and so darned smug about it. Who knows! I'd be so content, I'd be anticipating every Fridays that would come.

Well, there's school and thesis to occupy me. It just gets to be too smothering sometimes.

2003-07-18T20:46:00.000+08:00

List of References as of July 18, 2003

*note: some are redundant (they might have been previously posted by moi.)

Urban Site Reuse and Urban Redevelopment-An Overview
Elizabeth Collaton, et. al.
http://www.huduser.org/Periodicals/CITYSCPE/VOL2NUM3/collaton.pdfDate accessed: July 13, 2003

The first ever bucket brigade in the Philippines and Asia has begun
written: Feb. 5, 2003
http://www.gcmonitor.org/philippines_bucket_brigade.htm

Broken Promise in Manila?
Francesca R. Francia
http://www.gcmonitor.org/pandacan/

DOE Clarifies Times' Report on Relocation of Pandacan Oil Depot
written: June 4, 2002
http://www.doe.gov.ph/servlet/page?_pageid=73&_dad=portal30&_schema=PORTAL30&_type=site&_fsiteid=33&_fid=20166&_fnavbarid=1&_fnavbarsiteid=33&_fedit=0&_fmode=2&_fdisplaymode=1&_fcalledfrom=1&_fdisplayurl=

DOE Commends Major Oil Companies for Fasttraching the Construction of Linear Park at the Pandacan Oil Depot
written: June 24, 2003
http://www.doe.gov.ph/servlet/page?_pageid=73&_dad=portal30&_schema=PORTAL30&_type=site&_fsiteid=33&_fid=106880&_fnavbarid=1&_fnavbarsiteid=33&_fedit=0&_fmode=2&_fdisplaymode=1&_fcalledfrom=1&_fdisplayurl=accessed: July 13, 2003

-----------------------------
accessed July 16, 2003

Baltimore 2000: A Year Later
Part 2 - Urban development review
http://www.lai.org/library/publications/Baltimore2.html

Industrial LAnd Use Policy in Urban Areas
http://picced.org/advocacy/mluzi/09-APPENDIX%20B-1-REC.PDF

"Brownfields" -- in New Jersey, Pennsylvania, and under the USEPA "Prospective Purchaser Agreement" Program
http://www.archerlaw.com/articles/brownfields.html

--------------------------------
accessed July 18, 2003

Brownfields
http://hydra.gsa.gov/pbs/pt/call-in/factshet/0399b/0399bfact.htm

CERCLA Overview
http://www.epa.gov/superfund/action/law/cercla.htm

Report Promotes Benefits of Redeveloping Abandoned Gas Stations
http://www.nga.org/center/frontAndCenter/1,1188,C_FRONT_CENTER^D_4003,00.html

==>

Links: Google Search: Pandacan Oil Storage Depots

http://www.newsflash.org/2003/04/ht/ht003350.htm

http://www.manilatimes.net/national/2003/jan/21/metro/20030121met1.html

http://uk.biz.yahoo.com/030521/80/e0i7j.html

http://www.sos.com.ph/monthlynews-april2003/31.htm

http://www.shellfacts.com/pdfs/shellchap4.pdf

http://www.shellfacts.com/chp04.html

http://hydra.gsa.gov/pbs/pt/call-in/factshet/0399b/0399bfact.htm

http://www.epa.gov/superfund/action/law/cercla.htm

http://www.nga.org/center/frontAndCenter/1,1188,C_FRONT_CENTER^D_4003,00.html

Recycling Gas Stations
http://www.nemw.org/recyclegas_stations.pdf (not yet saved to diskette)

Brownfields and Brownfield Redevelopment
http://www.mrsc.org/Subjects/Environment/brownfields.aspx (resource page)

DRAFT
Brownfields Resource Guide
http://www.ecy.wa.gov/pubs/97608.pdf

Brownfields Revisited
Hallenbeck, Bob
http://www.mrsc.org/Subjects/Environment/brownrevisit.aspx

Recycling America's Land
A National Report on Brownfields Redevelopment - Vol. 3
By the United States Conference of Mayors
February 2003
http://www.usmayors.org/uscm/brownfields/full_report_rev3.pdf

2003-07-18T18:37:00.000+08:00

Links: Google Search: Brownfield Redevelopment

http://hydra.gsa.gov/pbs/pt/call-in/factshet/0399b/0399bfact.htm

http://www.epa.gov/superfund/action/law/cercla.htm

http://www.nga.org/center/frontAndCenter/1,1188,C_FRONT_CENTER^D_4003,00.html

http://www.nemw.org/recyclegas_stations.pdf (not yet saved to diskette)

http://www.mrsc.org/Subjects/Environment/brownfields.aspx(resource page)

http://www.ecy.wa.gov/pubs/97608.pdf

2003-07-18T18:14:00.000+08:00

Links: Google Search: Pandacan Oil Storage Depots

http://www.newsflash.org/2003/04/ht/ht003350.htm

http://www.manilatimes.net/national/2003/jan/21/metro/20030121met1.html
http://uk.biz.yahoo.com/030521/80/e0i7j.html

http://www.sos.com.ph/monthlynews-april2003/31.htm

http://www.shellfacts.com/pdfs/shellchap4.pdf

http://www.shellfacts.com/chp04.html

2003-07-11T23:50:00.000+08:00

Whew!

Its the weekend!!!!!!!!!! weeeee!!!

Nothing to go mental about, just that I get to sleep till late without bothering to wake up for class... or just for the sake of waking up. hehe! And plus, plus! I don't get to wake up to a moldy thesis house, too. *grin*

Ain't weekends great, or what? ;)

2003-06-07T23:49:00.000+08:00

AAAhhhg!!! MT!!!

2003-06-07T23:43:00.000+08:00

Irony.. hmm.. well, not reality but in dental terms. I'm having my deeply impacted Wisdom (teeth) extracted, to give way for Aesthetics (Orthodontia).

Hope, that's not symbolic for anything in my life. I wouldn't let go of reason, or wisdom for that matter, just for the sake of impressionable good looks. Hee.. maybe a lil *grin*. NAh.. Me, of all people.. the one girl who'll never trade fashion for comfort and practicality.

*Rolleyes*

2003-06-06T21:53:00.000+08:00

New blog! Updated.. I'm hoping to finish the MT blog by tomorrow *fingers crossed*

In so doing this.. I'm hoping my old blog will be deleted.... aaahhg! New school term, new life? hehe!